I had a c-section because I opted for one (my OB gave us the choice). I had a few scares starting at about 30 weeks with regular contractions so I was driving to the hospital (an hour away) about once a week. After being sent back I finally I said I wouldn't go in until I was in active labor. My OB scheduled my c-section for 37 weeks exactly because I developed pre-eclampsia and it was slowly worsening. 37 weeks was Friday, March 18th. That Monday (the 14th) I had been having contractions all day. Around 6pm they started coming 2-3 minutes apart and weren't going away and some friends of mine said I needed to call the doctor. I emailed my hubby (he worked from 3p-12p) and then called. The OB said that I should probably go in and get checked but not to get my hopes up. I brought my hospital bag anyway just in case. I'm so glad I did.

It took hubby about 20 minutes to get home and during that time the contractions were getting stronger. About 10 minutes into the drive I feel this warm gush of fluid and it was a lot of fluid. At first I thought I peed myself and then when I realized what happened I said "Uh, hun, my water just broke." I called the OB back and let him know. He told me that we would be meeting those babies tonight and he'd see me at the hospital. My hubby got us to the hospital and here I am, walking in with soaking wet pants. With every contraction, more fluid was coming out.

I get up to L&D and they asked what I needed. I said "My water broke and I'm having twins." They buzzed me in and took me straight back to my room. I changed out of my pants and while the nurses were trying to get me hooked up to the monitors my hubby was calling people to let them know what was going on. My MIL, SIL, Mom and Dad came to the hospital right then. There was a bit of worry when they couldn't find baby A's heartbeat quickly but it was her water that broke so they said that sometimes it's difficult because the fluid echos it. They found her and her sister and were timing my contractions. My OB got there about 30 minutes later and said "How about we check how dilated you are for giggles?" I was 4cm and fully effaced. This was 9pm-only 2 hours after my water broke so labor was progressing pretty quickly for a FTM.

As I'm contracting and progressively in more and more pain, the nurses were trying to get my information in the system but their computers were down! I didn't get back to an OR until about 11pm. By this point, I'm freaking out because I didn't want them born on either side of midnight so I told the OB to work fast and he laughed. The nerves set in for the spinal. I don't have a fear of needles or anything but something that big going into my back had me a little nervous plus I was shaking from nerves/adrenaline. I was about to be a parent! They got my spinal in after that I felt great. They did have to strap my arms down because I was shaking really hard (a side-effect from the anesthesia).

The procedure itself was really simple. All I felt was some tugging and pulling but no real pain. About 10 minutes in I was talking to my husband about the ceiling tiles (I was pretty high from the morphine) and all of a sudden I hear a cry. I looked over to my right and there was Victoria (Tori) and while I'm processing that, I hear a second cry. I then see Penelope (Penny). They were born at 11:38p and 11:39p but no more than 30 seconds passed between.

Tori weighed 6lbs at birth and was 18 inches long. Penny weighed 5lbs2oz and was 17.75 inches long. They both had full heads of hair and very healthy lungs. They were mildly jaundice but we expected that. It can run in families. I had a moderate case of it (needed the lights) and my hubby had a severe case (needed a full-body blood transfusion).

I had some funky reactions to the anesthesia and was throwing up for the first 36 hours so I wasn't able to walk around as quickly as I would have liked. When I did something happened they don't tell you about. I started bleeding from my catheter. Apparently, this is more common than you would think but I freaked out. After they got me (and the floor, oh that poor nurse!) cleaned up, I was able to sit up and rock with my babies. I really wanted to breastfeed so the lactation consultant was really pushing it but Thursday night/Friday morning the pediatrician was worried about their weight loss so we decided to supplement.

I was released Friday around noon but because of the jaundice and weight loss, they wanted to keep the girls another night. That drive home was the hardest drive I've ever made. I cried the whole way home but when I got home, I got a shower, I ate some food and I laid on the couch and watched some TV. We called the hospital around 6 to see how the girls were doing and they said they figured out what the problem was and that if we came early (8am) we had a good chance at taking them home that afternoon. We went to bed at about 8pm and I got my first full night of sleep in months. We woke at 6, drove down to the hospital, got some breakfast first at a place nearby and then went to see my babies.

Apparently, the reason they lost so much weight was that they were getting tired and not eating enough. We stayed through 2 feedings and the pediatrician said we could take them home. Tori weighed 5lbs1oz and Penny weighed 4lb14oz at release.

The first couple months are a bit of a blur now. I can't remember a time in my life ever being that exhausted. They were on a strict 3 hour feeding schedule and I was attempting to breastfeed. They would each take 30-45 minutes to eat, then I would pump for 20 minutes, then I'd have to clean up and try to sleep. I was sleeping in 1 hour spaces 5 times a day.

At 2 months I stopped breastfeeding. I have diagnosed depression and I'm on a DNRI. There are no pregnancy or breastfeeding safe DNRIs so I was completely unmedicated. I was a mess. At 2 months if finally came down to me having to chose my mental health over the want to breastfeed. It took about 2 weeks to dry up and then my hatred of formula began.

I'm very lucky in that my girls have only had a few minor colds but I was terrified of ear infections and pneumonia the whole time.

The first few months aren't hard. All they do is eat, sleep, and poop. It's just tiring. Once they start wanting to be awake, then things get fun. I really would have been happy to skip the first 6 months but once they started playing, I really started to enjoy myself. People say this all the time but sleep when they sleep! Leave the housework. Sleep. You will need it.