After a long and fairly difficult pregnancy, full of lots of pre eclampsia scares and gestational diabetes I had one final scan booked at 36+6 on Monday 5th August. When I woke up that morning, I fully expected 3 more weeks of irritating uncomfort, and my main worry was finding out that I was going to have to vaginally deliver a big 'ol baby sometime around 40 weeks. I still however desperately wanted to deliver vaginally and though terrified at the idea of giving birth to a big kid I knew I wanted to avoid a c-section at all costs. I had my MIL and SO in the scan with me when we hit issue number one... Archie was breech. He spun himself round since the last appointment and was bent double with his feet and head up in my belly, and his little ass laid right down in my hips. Well... Crap! But he still had 3 weeks to turn and we had ways of helping so off I go to a midwife and a doctor to discuss my options. No discussion of babas size yet as this was going to be addressed by the doctor too. As soon as I get sat in the office they obviously check all normal things, I give a urine sample and they check my BP. And this is where we hit issue 2. I had been fairly sick and exhausted all weekend so knew I wasn't doing incredibly well and planned to discuss it, but my blood pressure was high enough that the machine went a little crazy and my midwife ran off incredibly quickly to grab a doctor. Doctor is on within seconds (a bad sign) and he has papers to sign. Last week at a gestational diabetes test I posted about, it turns out that they had actually diagnosed pre-eclampsia but had not treated it, and now it was classified as severe. Deadly severe. Doctor was mentioning fits and stillbirth. I was freaking out and before I know it I'm signing papers and discussing emergency c-section risks. I didn't have time to go home and pack, I had a few hours to fast and be prepped for birth. My SO was clearly terrified but held it together and we called my mother to keep me company while he ran home to pack me and Archie a hospital bag. Now ladies, I have to say that I have never been that petrified in my life. In that few hours pre surgery I cried and panicked. I feared losing my right to labour and I felt that my body had let me down. I was scared I wouldn't bond with Archie and frankly realising I would be a parent by dinner time made me realise that I didn't feel ready or prepared for parenthood in the slightest. Still, I had no other options and making sure we both made it through pregnancy at all was the only truly important thing. Before I know it, a midwife is placing a catheter (was less crappy than anticipated and the midwife was incredible) and I'm waddling my way to theatre in a backless hospital gown. I had to sit on the edge of the gurney thing with my feet on a stool while they prepped me. Lewis wasn't allowed to sit with me for this bit and both him and I were pretty terrified and on our own. However, getting my epidural and spinal block placed was totally painless and I was laid back, a sheet put up in front of my face and Lewis was let in to come and hold my hand. Then my blood pressure dropped dramatically, lewis says he genuinely thought I was dying, I was being pumped with extra drugs and was confused and almost blacked out. I was shaking and nauseous and I really had no clue what was going on. The doctor was an ace though and soon had me stabilised and surgery started. I could feel tugging and pulling but no pain and I was still more scared than ever. And then I see a doctor with a little crib fly past into the little prep room next door, the 30 most agonising silent seconds of my life and then Archie. And I swear, every ounce of fear was gone. They brought him out and he was healthy as a horse. 5lb13oz (as far away from the giant baby I feared as possible) and his daddy held him next to me to kiss for the rest of surgery. Which at that point felt lime no time at all! Recovery is not fun and breastfeeding is exhausting. Unfortunately I'm having to give small amounts of formula alongside colostrum as he's managing to get the good stuff, but not quite enough. Also I've gotten an infection in my IV site as my BP monitoring cuff slipped down my arm whilst I was being monitored and literally squeezed some of the IV drugs into my hand and arm, causing pain and swelling. Its pretty hard to change a nappy too when one hand is crazy swollen and the other has four wires coming out of it! And yet I really don't care... Despite not getting the perfect birth I still have my son. He is healthy and happy and a few weeks hobbling around on painkillers is a fair trade. I'm also now diabetes free, as is Archie, no signs of eclampsia and should be allowed home in a few days. I was just moved from high dependency to a normal ward for a few days rest. I'm sorry to make this so long, but I'm running low on sleep, am on my phone and I just knocked back a few codeine!
Thank you ladies for being incredible for the past few months, I would have been a wreck without you! I hope everything goes smoothly for you all!