TL;DR Unmedicated home-birth after just 7 hours of labour and 16 minutes of pushing.

Looking back, I can see there were some signals that it wouldn't be too long before labour started. Two days before (on Saturday) I was nesting like crazy, and I even 'infected' my SO who was cleaning the outside of the garbage bin and cleaning out the freezer. That same day, I was feeling really down and sad and just wanted to be left alone and read a book. My midwife told me that this happens when the pregnancy hormones are decreasing, this usually happens after birth but I can also happen before.

The day after all the cleaning and crying I was feeling fine, just some contractions every now and then but nothing I could not ignore and it definitely did not feel like something was going to happen soon. I spend the day with my SO, we took a drive and a walk, enjoyed the weather and even visited my parents that Sunday night.

During the night, I noticed some more contractions, sometimes powerful enough to wake me up but never really painful and I did not sense a pattern. I could not sleep very well and spend some time during the night reading reddit and what not. I had to pee a lot that night even though I hadn't been drinking all that much. This was also probably because of the decrease in hormones.

When I woke up that morning (Monday the 5th) the contractions were still there but not bad enough that I thought this might be it. I hadn't told my SO about the contractions because I did not want him to get his hopes up or ask me all the time what I was feeling. Apparently he did sense something because he chose to work from home that day.

Around 11:30 that morning I decided to make something to eat. While I was making the food I felt a pretty powerful contraction and suddenly I just HAD to hang the laundry that was still in the machine. While I was doing that another contraction came and this one really made me stop and breathe. I finished hanging the laundry and told my SO I thought this might be it.

We were now timing the contractions and they were pretty regular, every 3 minutes and lasting between 30 and 60 seconds. After two hours of timing them (it was now 14:00) we decided to call our midwife. My favourite one answered (it is a practice of 5) which made me extremely happy. I was kind of in denial about being in labour but she promised to visit me in an hour.

During this hour the contractions became more intense and I took a shower to deal with them. When my midwife arrived we chatted a bit and checked to see if (and how much) I was dilated. I was so happy when she told me I was 3 to 4 cm!!

Initially I wanted to give birth at a birthing centre but when my midwife suggested we go there after my check I told her I wanted to wait a bit and stay home for now. Around this time I called my mom and told her I was in labour. I knew this might be a bad move because she would worry but I just wanted her to know and afterwards she told me she was so happy I had called her.

Where I live, in The Netherlands, your insurance will give you 49 hours of maternity care. So after you give birth, a maternity worker/helper (bad translation, sorry!) comes to your house every day to help with cleaning, dishes, laundry etc. She also helps you with breastfeeding and explains a lot about taking care of a newborn. For her to help your properly, your bed should be 90 cm or ~3ft high. This will be important later on!

Anyway, it was now around 15:30 and contractions were becoming more intense. I took another shower and at some point I lost my plug. My midwife was delighted that it came out in one piece, just for fun, it doesn't matter how it comes out. After calling the birthing centre we got the bad news that they were full so I decided I wanted to give birth at home. Around 17:00 I got another check and was so disappointed when she told me I was now 5 cm. We decided she would break my water to speed things up a bit.

Because I decided for a home-birth, the bed also had to be raised to 90 cm, just to make it easier for her to see everything etc. We had special 'things' made to raise the bed and my midwife and SO told me they were going to put them under the bed. By now, I was in a lot of pain and a lot of the contractions were coming back to back and there wasn't much time in between. I was on the couch with my back to the room and my face in a pillow trying to deal with the contractions. There were some complications with raising the bed but I didn't care or notice what was going on. My SO was working really hard on the bed while my midwife was pressing on my back during contractions which was amazing. I was completely in my own world and I even "fell asleep" in between contractions.

Finally, after a lot of time on the couch (it was now around 18:30) my midwife told me I could go to the bedroom and onto the bed so she could break my water. Her shift ended at 19:00 and another midwife would come to assist her and they would switch. When I was on the bed it was very hard to deal with a contraction, especially when she was checking me and I was in so much pain and unable to move. She checked me and I was at 8 cm! I had gone from 5 to 8 in about an hour.

She broke my water and this huge, warm gush of fluid came out. The first couple of seconds it felt like a relieve. Then, all hell broke loose. The contractions because so strong and I almost immediately felt the need to push, she told me to push and OH MY SWEET GOD what a relieve. I pooped everywhere and did not give a shit (horrible pun intended), it just felt so great to push. My midwife cleaned me up and my SO was unfazed.

At this point, it felt like I was in a room with 20 televisions all set to another channel. I was aware what was happening but there was so much in- and output and in my head it was chaos. Not panic, but chaos. My midwife was having trouble finding the babies heartbeat and when she did it was slow. She told me to keep going because this baby had to be born soon. While I was pushing and grabbing onto my SO for dear life, the bell rang.

It was the other midwife and my SO had to open the door. I yelled that he had to stay but my midwife told me "he HAS to open the door for her because I need her NOW". He ran down the stairs and I was trying not to push because she told me to hold it in. This was the hardest thing I have ever done. The urge to push is so overwhelming and holding it in is terrible. My SO came back with the other midwife and when they put the doppler on my stomach I heard the heartbeat. It was so slow. They told me that I had to push because he had to come out now. Another contraction came and I was pushing and pushing and pushing. My midwifes were so busy I didn't know what was going on but my SO told me he could see the head. This gave me tremendous motivation and I kept pushing. The contraction faded and I wanted to take a breath but they told me to keep going. I pushed for the last bit on my own and then all the pain was gone. Everything was quiet and I could feel my baby on my stomach.

He was purple/blue but breathing. I asked the midwife "what is it?" and she told me "why don't you look for yourself". I grabbed the baby and took a good look at my son for the first time. My SO couldn't see it so I looked at him and told him we had a son. While he was on my stomach my midwife told me I could feel his pulse in the cord, this was a very interesting sensation, holding the cord and feeling his heartbeat. When it stopped beating my SO cut the cord and I delivered the placenta around 15 minutes after the birth.

I basically tore off my right inner labia but didn't feel it but I had to get stitches, this wasn't too bad. Not much fun but I was euphoric and so happy. After we had called everyone they came immediately and around 1,5 hour after the birth of Alexander both our parents and my brother and his SO were in out bedroom celebrating his birth. Within an hour after birth he was breastfeeding, even though one of my nipples is flat and the other inverted, he cannot drink from the inverted one but tonight we are trying a nipple shield. If you want my (unsolicited) advice on breastfeeding: fuck everything you know and heard and just see what works. To quote my mom "who cares if you have to feed him hanging from the ceiling, if it works, it works."

All in all, I was in labour for around 7 hours and pushed for 16 minutes. It has been the most rewarding and amazing experience of my life and I have been feeling great since. Alexander is doing amazing and we are all just living in this big warm fuzzy cloud of happiness.

If you made it this far, OMG CONGRATULATIONS! And as your reward, PICTURES!